The King of Cleveland

It’s only a few hours away people. The most anticipated free agent class is NBA history. Hell, this could be the most anticipated class in sports history. And at the top of the pile is the King of Cleveland himself, Lebron James. The rumors have been absolutely ridiculous. As I write this, the hot rumor is that Lebron and Chris Bosh will be joining Dwyane Wade in Miami. By the time I finish Lebron will be leaving basketball to star in the sequel to Zombie Strippers, Zombie Strippers 2: Hot Sauce in my Bag. No rumor too shocking in this NBA. All the rumors have sent a large chunk of Cleveland into a pit of despair…but not this guy.

I can see why people would think he is leaving. First of all, this city has a tendency to expect the worst due to the alleged Cleveland sports curse. No need to run through the list, but when you are used to getting the worst, you come to expect it. Second, the media has been spending weeks treating Lebron leaving Cleveland like a foregone conclusion. Depending on the day of the week he’s going to New York, Chicago, New Jersey, Miami, or even Los Angeles. Finally, Lebron hasn’t done the fans any favors by spending years now refusing to commit to Cleveland.

Despite all this, I’m 100% confident that Lebron James will stay, and here are my reasons:

#1: Lebron James owns this city. There is absolutely no personality that can even come close to touching the persona that is Lebron James in Cleveland. I’m certainly not seeing any Indians players getting giant billboards, or any Browns. He knows that this city depends on him. He has a huge impact socially and economically, and that is magnified even more because he’s a local kid. Look at any other city that is attached to him, and he’s another big fish in another big pond. Which leads into my next point…

#2: Lebron needs to be the top dog. His ego wouldn’t allow anything less. You’ll have that when you’re one of the world’s greatest athletes. Let’s be honest. Lebron probably refers to Lebron in the third person. He probably loves all of this right now. An entire city hanging on his every move. Lebron doesn’t want Lebron sharing the spotlight with Jeter, Kobe, Jordan, etc. Handling this the way he has gets him even more attention, and it sets up for a glorious return.

#3: C.R.E.A.M. History has shown us that when athletes say it’s not about money, it’s about one thing: the money. I don’t see Lebron leaving $30 mil on the table in this economy, and you know the Cavs won’t even consider a sign-and-trade. However…

#4: Maybe it actually is about winning with Lebron. If that’s the case, where does he have the best shot? Has to be Cleveland. All things considered, he’s not going to Miami to play second fiddle to Wade. New York has made losing an art form, as have the Clippers. New Jersey was historically bad last year. People make a big deal of the Russian billionaire, like having money somehow makes you a great owner (see: Snyder, Dan). Chicago can offer Derrick Rose. Lebron needs the ball to work. Derrick Rose needs the ball to work. There’s strike one. The rest of the Bulls roster isn’t that great, probably equal to the Cavs at best. People throw out Noah like he’s the second coming of Christ when in reality he’d be a bench player on most playoff teams. That’s not much of an incentive to go, and don’t talk to me about Chris Bosh. He’s going to every team in the league right now. So that’s strike two. Finally, the Bulls are a historically stingy franchise. Does anyone really see them getting two max guys and then paying Derrick Rose? Don’t think so, which makes this a dumb move for LBJ. Strike three.

#5: This is home, and we’ve all been led to believe that Lebron cares deeply about this city. If nothing else, his brand is built around loyalty, commitment, etc. Leaving could shatter an image that has been built up for years. Image aside, we know he’s a mama’s boy, and his crew is super-close. Leaving changes the whole dynamic of his life. A big change for a guy who’s still hanging out with his high school crew. I believe he loves Cleveland, and he’ll choose with his heart.

So there you have it. Like the slogan says. Born here. Raised here. Plays here. STAYS HERE.